2 week challenge

so i finally ran my half marathon! and out of the three that i have done... this was by far THE BEST! i finished with a grand total time of: 1 hour 58 minutes! UNDER 2 HOURS! (my goal!) i still can't believe it, but i can because my knees are kiiiiiilling me! but now that it is over i can get back into a more normal gym routine (weight training and cardio!). before it was just cardio cardio cardio because that is all i had time for so i think adding weights will be the boost i need to drop some more weight. anyway, WANNAB gave me a great idea (THANK YOU!) and i am going to start soemthing called the 2 week challenge. this morning i woke up at 115.6 pounds and awhile ago i had promised myself when i got down to 112 i would get a new pair of cross trainers sooooo i have 2 weeks to get to 112. when i do: i get to go buy me some new shoes! if not... im shit outta luck! :) i think i can do it now. the past cople weeks i kept being like "i need energy for the half marathon" or "im running so much i can eat it" well... that clearly didn't get me to lose weight so boo to that plan. ok 2 week challenge here we go! anyone else want to join? <3

uggggggh again

so i haven't been posting because ive been doing shitty. i eat what i want, how much i want, whenever i want, i stuff my face. it's gross and the scale is there to prove it. my wedding is coming up in october, my once in a life time event and i cant seem to perfect myself for it. wtf? like when im home alone i eat and eat and eat and eat and eat. when i'm at school and presented with treats i eat and and eat and eat and eat. where did my self control go? seriously. i used to bbe good. now im not. now im fat. it sounds simple and easy to fix but i cant control myself. HELP!

ugggggggggh

so all my shit eating caught up to me.. i was 115.8 this morning! SICK! i was so close to being 112 and now i am freakin back up to 115.8... let's see what did NOT help this situation: ice cream i ate last night, bread and butter (wtf?? i never eat that!), and just shit food shit food shit food! UGH! today i am going to make vegetable soup and stick to that for dinner because that is likle 43 calories per cup and very very filling and i make an enormous batch that lasts me forever soooooooooo hopefully that will work. .also ia m going to do bikram yoga to try and sweat out some nasty pounds, ugh this is so frustrating. on a more positive note... this morning i walked to the gym (1.3 miles away), did my kickboxing class, and walked home.. i would have jogged it but i have a 10 mile run tomorrow so i have to save my knees for that. ok im gonna go get on some laundry and vegetable soup cooking. hope yall are doing better than me :( and i have been so down these past few days.. i knew this was coming. sad day.

hello.. i was out of town for 5 days... ate like total shit.. excercised a couple times.. thought i gained ilke 10 pounds... seriously. came back and weighed myself and actually didn't. still have not been good about what i'm eating. today i made some "high fiber vegan brownies" with prunes and black beans. not good lol. a tiny hint of chocolate was in them but def would not recommend them. this week is spring break... i need my schedule and my routine back. i feel like i'm in a rut. i really need a few things... primarily, cross training shoes because i am using my old running shoes to do excercise classes and my legs are killing me. so when i reach 112 consistently i am going to get some cross trainers. when i get to 110 i am going to purchase a new gym bag. that's something i don't need, just want :) also, i haven't been feeling that well today. headache. sore throat. ugh. i hope i'm not getting sick. i'm supposed to run 7 miles tomorrow for my marathon training. my girl who i usually train with can't do it til later and i dont know if that's going to work for me. at the same time, i dunno if i can do it by myself. and, my friend has been irritating me lately so i dunno if i even want to run with her! ah! i just feel so like OY right now. my trip fucked up my schedule and i need to get back on track. i have a freakin wedding dress to get in to in october! (still shopping for it) ahhhhhhhhhh get skinny

from here to there

For some reason, I always binge on the weekends. Maybe it's because I'm home more of the time with not as much to do (that's a lie, I still have a lot to do just a whole lot more access to food) or I'm out, so I can't stick to my usual meals. UGH. On a more positive note, I ran almost 9 miles this morning and felt great! My friend and I are training for a half marathon. I have done two before, but not well. I used to smoke a lot and that really hurt me when doing cardio. I never realized it until I stopped. Anyway, I have not smoked in over a year and feel better than ever! I was always the one huffing and puffing with my friend.. even when she hadn't run in a week. Now... it's the other way around! :) We started at my house and ran to my parents house. 8.6 miles to be exact and we kept a steady 10 minute mile pace. Several times, I looked behind me and she was a ways behind. I had to slowly jog, so she could catch up. Part of me wanted to keep running, but on the other hand, she always used to wait for me when I was in that position. Also, I'm not sure if I could do it alone. So either way, it was a fantastic run! Plus we still have a month to train for the half! On a more negative note, once we did get to my parents..... BINGE! They always have SO MUCH good food... and we always have none. So of course my excuse, "Shit, I just ran 9 miles I can eat whatever the fuck I want!" Yeah, we'll see how happy the scale is tomorrow. Today was 114.2. Ugggggggh. I made a promise that I wouldn't buy myself any clothing, bags, or shoes until I was 110. I'm going out of town for a wedding on Thursday and reaaaaaaally want to be able to go shopping. This means I have to be REALLY good this week to see if it's even possible. I did already call the hotel to ensure there is a gym. There is. :) Oh: need advice!!!! Anyone know of any good thinspo books for me to take on the plane? I already have plenty of magazines, but love reading especially about ana... so if you know of any good novels, please do share with me! Alright, I'm off to be productive before dinnertime. I hope everyone had a great weekend and stay strong!

'there will be beauty from this pain'

well today was not as successful as yesterday. it started out fabulously. so i'm training to run a half marathon in april.. it's my 3rd one, but the first two i don't feel like i've done that well.. both times i only half assed the training.. never ran more than like 6 miles in training so consequently i was unable to run the entire half marathon.. i had to walk. a lot. if people on the biggest loser can run the whole half marathon so can i! this training so far i have done very dilligently. this past sunday was the first run i missed. today i was supposed to run 8 miles but i had parent teacher conferences starting at 8am lasting til 8pm. the gym opens at 530 so i ran 5 miles by myself.. usually i run with my running buddy who has been very helpful in keeping me motivated! also there is a tiiiiiiiiiiny competitive streak in me so i like to beat her in running :) usually she beats me but lately ive pulled ahead. anyway, we work at different schools so today we had to run by ourselves since i had conferences, she doesn't, and she refuses to come to the gym so early. so i was proud with my 5 miles. tomorrow i have to run 2 miles (will do in the a.m.) and then im going to do bikram yoga after school. is anyone into that? it's that really hot yoga which i completely fell in love with a couple times ago. so im going to do it tomorrow yay. the bad part of my day was not my parent teacher conferences. those were actually great. it was the food! all all the nasty nasty high caloric food! ugh! i mean i planned on eating... but twice??? and shit??? i ate all shit... and went back for more!!!! im never going to lose like this! i ate cream cheese cinnamin blintzes (3!), scrambled cheesey eggs, salad, fruit, then like shitty not even good tasting packaged banana bread (i had 2). what is wrong with me? like i was eating
purely just to eat. not for enjoyment. not for energy. not because it tasted good. just because. i have to stop that! tomorrow WILL be a better day. there will be beauty from this pain. thank you :)

I don't want to jinx it but today has been a good day! I avoided any temptation today and right now my total intake is 864 calories! Yay! If I get a sweet tooth later, I think I have one 50 calorie fudgicle left, so I may take that... but only if needed. I found a couple good, low calorie recipes earlier (I love searching for those)... I will post later if I do end up making them and if they are any good... Also, I love like motivational quotations.. if anyone has any that they would like to share, I would love to read them! :) Ok, I'm off to read and respond and hopefully make some friends on here for support!

Good Start

Good start to the day as I got 33 minutes in on the elliptical, special k protein plus cereal with skim milk for breakfast (i highly recommend this cereal.. it keeps you full forever!), 4 cups of water, and 1 weight smart one-a-day vitamin! My goal today is to avoid temptation! Wedding dress thin! I have such a difficult time resisting temptation it is ridiculous. For example, I am an elementary teacher and we have parent-teacher conferences this week: super stressful! Well, our wonderful PTO provides us with dinner... delicious, calorie filled dinner... so since I'm "so stressed out" (an excuse), last night I indulged in: salad with high calorie dressing, meatloaf, mashed potatoes, corn, and dessert! WTF? I have to be better than that because once i eat one bad thing it is just downhill from there. When I got home, I continued my binge by eating damn girl scout cookies. I am getting rid of most of those tonight by giving them to a friend at a class I have. How do I resist temptation? I have tried several "reminders." I mean, shit, I thought having a rock on my finger would be one thing, but it doesn't pull me through temptation! AH suggestions anyone???

Gotta do it...

So I used to blog and it totally helped then I stopped and got fat. At the beginning of February, I started doing this "challenge" through my gym. I get points for logging my daily intake, work outs, how much water I have consumed, and daily weigh in. I was doing awesome the first month. It really helped me be honest and held me accountable. I loved it. I got down to 112 after starting at 120. Well, one day I ate a couple bad things. And that escalated. And escalated. And escalated. I ate and I ate and I ate! Now I am 115 and feel like I am going higher. Each day, I continue to eat without regard of how it will affect my weight. Oh yeah. I'M ENGAGED! So even MORE motivation to get really skinny because I will only be in a wedding dress for one day and those pictures will last forever! Wedding is not until October, but I need to make my lifestyle change now! I need to be communicating with people who have similar goals as me in order to succeed. I was doing very well for awhile of eating around 1000 calories a day while excercising on a daily basis. I am training for a half marathon right now. That will happen in April. Ok time to start reading other people and get back into this for real and make a change! Wedding dress thin, baby!